12 Stress Headaches, 11 Yelling Children, 10 Tempted Tummies . . . and a Partridge in a Pear Tree?

By: Diana Barnes-Brown for Body1

While some people love the holidays, many feel pressured to put aside anxiety and depression and put on a brave face as they deal with the stresses of shopping, entertaining, and spending time with long-lost family and friends. Read on for some tips on how to exchange holiday anxiety and depression for those tidings of comfort and joy that everyone seems to be talking about.

Unwelcome Guests: Some Sources of Holiday Depression and Anxiety

There are several key culprits when it comes to holiday stress, and learning how to minimize their potential for negative impact is a key factor in one’s ability to avoid serious mood disturbances and achieve psychological wellbeing.

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Quick Tips for Controlling Holiday Depression and Anxiety: Remember that it’s okay to feel down during the holidays – many do. Look to your friends and loved ones for support and understanding if you are having a difficult holiday season. Be a realist, not a perfectionist. Plan ahead. Set reasonable limits and keep to them – be moderate with food, drink, spending and social commitments.

Relationships cause emotional ups and downs for even the healthiest among us, and at holiday time the added stress of large gatherings, unexpected arrivals, and tight accommodations can magnify pre-existing conflicts. These circumstances may cause feelings of being trapped or pressured by negative or stressful interactions. For those dealing with a recent breakup or death of a loved one, holidays may be especially painful because they call to mind happier times when the missing loved one was present. Add to this the pressure to present a polished veneer to guests and spend a lot of social energy on parties, gatherings, and celebrations, and you have a recipe for rocky moods and frustration.

Financial demands of the holiday season, especially in a country as tied to commercial interests as the United States, can be another source of worry and depression. People feel pressure to buy the biggest, brightest, and boldest presents; and travel and hosting demands may add unexpected expenses to already shaky budgets.

Finally, the holidays are a physically strenuous time. Marathon shopping, late nights spent entertaining or wrapping presents, travel between time zones, and changes in eating, drinking, and sleeping habits can all contribute to a lack of psychological wellbeing.

How to Cope

In the rush to get everything done and be socially outgoing, it can be hard to find some downtime to re-group. But taking a moment to assess mood and behavior can be a very helpful reality check when it comes to managing holiday malaise and ensuring that it doesn’t cause more chronic problems down the line.

If you feel sad or anxious, it’s important to give yourself time to experience these feelings. Don’t beat yourself up over your inability to “get it together.” Remember that everyone feels worried or down from time to time. It is also important to seek support from understanding friends and loved ones, many of whom may be experiencing similar feelings. Volunteering and participating in social events can also combat loneliness and isolation.

At the same time, don’t offer too much – the holidays are about giving, but after all, if you’re barely holding it together, how can you be of help to anyone? Related is the need to be realistic: no one is perfect, and if expectations for yourself or others are too high, disappointment is likely to follow (this is also a helpful tip to remember when contemplating New Year’s resolutions). Try to accept things as they come, and instead of obsessing about a rude guest, a difficult family member, or a failed cooking project, focus on what did go well.

Planning ahead is another great way to stay calm, cool, and in control. Having all the materials handy for cooking, gift preparation, and guest emergencies can save valuable time and energy, and cut down on unexpected disasters. Likewise, while it may be tempting to pull out all the stops to make children happy and impress your guests, poorly made financial decisions can have serious consequences for individuals and families, and unhealthy spending is a hard habit to break.

The bigger picture is that you should work on knowing, and sticking to, your limits. This rule applies to everything from spending to eating and drinking to social commitments. Maxing out credit cards, eating unhealthily, drinking too much and not taking necessary alone time can all contribute feelings of depression and anxiety, and simply knowing when to say no is a great way to manage both psychological and physical health.

Finally, while these tips can be very helpful in combating depression and anxiety, if mood disturbances are causing disruptions to normal behavior and functioning, it may be necessary to seek professional help. Good mental health is a gift in itself, so take it seriously by taking good psychological care of yourself. Rely on the advice of a professional or trusted caregiver if the going gets tough.

Last updated: 21-Nov-06